The world can feel chaotic and overwhelming, at times.
There’s a theory that the brain’s #1 goal is to minimize surprises. This theory is called the “free energy principle,” and it is that every living organism is trying to reduce the chances of encountering an experience that we didn’t expect. This is because we’re geared for survival, and we’ve survived the experiences we’ve already had; whereas experiences we’ve not yet had–in other words, surprises–could be dangerous and maybe even life threatening.
But we need to have some changes and challenges in our lives so that we can grow and so that we can be resilient. If we get more able to effectively respond to small surprises, we become better able to handle and manage larger stressors when they inevitably arise.
I just got this quote in my inbox from James Clear and this it’s a good way to approach surprises and help you enjoy life and grow your ability to accept surprise and change:
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi on the value of daily surprises:
“Try to be surprised by something every day. It could be something you see, hear, or read about. Stop to look at the unusual car parked at the curb, taste the new item on the cafeteria menu, actually listen to your colleague at the office. How is this different from other similar cars, dishes or conversations? What is its essence? Don’t assume that you already know what these things are all about, or that even if you knew them, they wouldn’t matter anyway. Experience this one thing for what it is, not what you think it is. Be open to what the world is telling you. Life is nothing more than a stream of experiences — the more widely and deeply you swim in it, the richer your life will be.”
Source: Creativity
That’s the Yin and Yang of life. The Yang is the change, the stress, the challenge, the surprise, and the growth that comes from that. The Yin is what you must provide yourself so that you are able to handle the Yang. The Yin is self care, rest, deep breaths, and moments of pause so you have the internal resources and ability to handle the Yang.
Start your day right
Your alarm goes off. You hit snooze. It goes off again. Snooze again. Alarm. Snooze. Now when the alarm goes off, you are in a rush and stressed out. If you want to start the day right, getting to bed early enough the night before is how you can try to ensure you’re not too tired to get up.
Before you get going to start your day, stretch. My dog makes a whole production about stretching before she gets up to go outside. While stretching, check in with how you’re feeling. Take some deep breaths. It doesn’t take long, just a minute or two or three.
Tempted to grab your phone and start scrolling? What if that could wait? What if you can grab a glass of water, make yourself breakfast, have a conversation or a hug with someone (including animals) in your household (or give yourself a hug and a pep talk!), meditate, do some movement activity, or make yourself a healthy lunch to go first? What if social media, stressful news, and emailed to-do lists didn’t set the scene for your day?
Moments of pause
“I don’t have time.” I hear this all the time. I’ve said it many times. If you don’t have the time or the will to spend 30 minutes meditating and 30 minutes exercising every day, you might find it completely doable to stop for 2 minutes to take deep breaths and 5 to 10 minutes to stretch or exercise a few times a day. Taking short, but more frequent and regular moments of pause can help relieve tension from your mind and your body.
Plan ahead
Book in time for you. Put it in your schedule, especially when you know you’re going to be extra busy and extra overwhelmed. I am going to steal the idea one of my patients told me she does.
Book in things like workouts, dinner with a friend, and wellness appointments at the end of your workday so you can’t stay late to keep working. When you have a place you NEED to be, you get to/have to leave. This is a great plan to make when you have a hard time saying “no” to staying late. It might also mean that you are more productive when you know you’ve got to leave on time.
Alternatively, book in those activities during your weekends so you can enjoy those activities with a more leisurely mindset.
Fuel yourself well
Nourish your body because stress can be depleting. When you’re busy, tired, and stressed, a chocolate bar, fast food fries, donut, or other less-than-healthy food might feel like what you need. But those foods are likely to leave you feeling even more tired and even less ready to tackle your tasks.
Planning ahead can help you make better nutrition decisions because if you wait until you have no time and no mental resources left, you are unlikely to make good choices. When you cook, make more than you need for one meal so you’ll have leftovers for the week or to freeze. Use a slow cooker or pressure cooker (or Instant Pot) so you can be less hands on when it comes to cooking time. Personally, I don’t like standing by a pot that I have to stir.
If you’re like me and are easily persuaded by a cafe muffin, then you might be looking for something soft and sweet to substitute. Roasted vegetables aren’t just for dinner. They can make a nutrient-rich snack too, so when I make some for dinner, I make extra so I have something delicious for my “2nd breakfast” or “2nd lunch” (I’m a grazer).
Get acupuncture
Of course, you can also book in some “acusleep,” “acurest,” and “acuchill” time! There’s absolutely nothing you need to do once you’re on my table. Book yourself some calm and come in for a reset.
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